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等我到了住院部，妈妈和姐姐已经在了，姐姐说，你的书包怎么这么大？于是我把这累赘撇在病房的飘窗上。舅舅问我，你是刚放学吗？我说，舅舅，我已经开始上班了。他从挂在床头的袋子里拿出一盒椰汁，问我喝不喝。我渴了，接过椰汁便开始喝起来。我走到窗台前，太阳准备下山了，金色的余晖刚好照进病房里。我看着医院外的窗景，正好能看到一点珠江，沿江路宽敞的步道，绿油油的沙面公园，剩下的是矮小的居民楼的灰色楼顶。这儿的景色如此熟悉，我想了想，一定能看到我的中学吧？于是我打开地图开始找我中学的位置。我想看到那熟悉的粉色的主教学楼和绿色假草覆盖的足球场。 我说，舅舅，你知道吗，这医院位置真好，居然还能看到我中学在哪儿。 我不知道我说没说这句话。之后我和妈妈下了楼，看到舅妈和小表弟准备上楼。舅妈让我们带着小表弟回家，他饿了，买了一碗面，本来要上楼吃的，但我们已经下来了，舅妈就让表弟在医院过道里找个地方吃了。妈妈和我一起去医院外面的大楼找她的车，姐姐留下来和表弟一起等我们把车开过来。 我和妈妈牵着手去找车，她说那栋楼有点远，她还想在路上买饺子吃。她说她每次来医院都会买那个饺子吃，刚刚带给姐姐吃了，说非常好吃。我说好，其实我对饺子没什么感觉，但我们还是去了，她买了两袋饺子，说到车上吃。 我不喜欢饺子的气味，所以在接到姐姐和表弟的时候，我让他们都吃了。都是玉米馅的。 我们在路上还堵了一会，从市中心回家还赶上晚高峰，到家的时候天已经完全黑了。 妈妈，我说，你觉得舅舅什么时候可以出院？ 妈妈说，应该很快了吧，他最近睡得好。 我不习惯看到妈妈流泪。在舅舅去世不久后，那家医院给妈妈打了电话，她刚好在开车，我刚好在车里。 护士在那边问，病人恢复好了吗？ 妈妈没有回答。 护士又问了一遍，是家属对吧？ 妈妈突然颤抖着喊道，他已经走了。 我不敢看妈妈流眼泪。她踩了一脚油门，车子跑得飞快。 再次看到妈妈的眼泪，是在第二年春天，快过春节的时候。 爸爸和妈妈回到家，问我去不去北京。我的另一个舅舅走了，外婆表姐的独子，才四十岁出头，刚刚还完美国使领馆对面大平层的按揭。留下两个还在上小学的孩子，和从来不和婆婆打交道的妻子。这舅舅在我小时候抱过我。这是我第二次来北京，上一次是十七年前，这舅舅抱过我。但我记不得了。 上一次我和这舅舅说话，是我在大一还是大二的时候，他说等我快毕业了，就帮我找联合国的实习。但当我真的快毕业的时候，却来北京看他了。 我和妈妈刚从哈尔滨回来，知道北方有多冷，于是我和妈妈带着新买的羽绒裤出发了。到了北京之后才发现，其实没有那么冷。 妈妈说，他半夜和朋友去喝酒，喝到第二口，脑袋耷拉下来，发现已经没了。他老婆瞒着公婆，过了快一个星期才说出来。 北京的冬天很冷，到了晚上，寒风直愣愣地往窗子缝里灌。我望着窗外的树，树枝上还残存着一些枯黄的叶子。 通州的殡仪馆不像我们那个小县城的一样简陋，没有人吹唢呐，也没有人烧东西，大家只是手里拿着鲜花，默默地放到舅舅的棺材里去。这一天同时还有其他两场追悼会在办。 人群默默散了。走到院子里，清晨的阳光开始变得温热起来，我感到身上有点出汗了，却又不敢把衣服都脱下来。阳光将石板地面照得白得晃眼，我想到了夏天。 妈妈在飞机上问我，两个舅舅走了，你有想到什么吗？ 我别扭地把头偏到一边，尽量不要让妈妈看到我红了眼眶。我没有说话。 日子还是照常进行着。后来我来到了这座拥有永恒夏日的城市，每每傍晚我独自走在植物园里参天大树的林荫下，归巢的斑鸠有一搭没一搭地叫着，我抬头望向似是要被残阳烧成灰烬的树影，那充满生机的火焰跳动着，人们在这巨大的阴影之下仿佛化作了一粒灰尘，此时一阵晚风，将我们吹走了。 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第二天我照常去市中心上班。舅舅今天要去医院了，我心里不知道为什么突然松了一口气。或许今天我一个人在家的时候，终于可以想躺在哪就躺在哪，晚饭也可以自己吃好吃的了。 可当我回家在玄关脱鞋的时候，发现鞋柜里没有舅舅的鞋子，妈妈的鞋子也不见了。没人在家，于是我上楼去喂猫了。我一边打开猫粮袋，一边看着手机。我把猫粮放在碗里，然后去给猫铲屎。铲完之后，我一手提着垃圾袋，一手还是抱着手机看视频，心里想着今晚要做什么晚饭吃。忽然，爸爸的来电打断了我的思虑。 他说，你舅舅不大好，估计要转院回老家了，你妈去医院办手续了。 我说，那你们什么时候回来？他说他不清楚，但你的小舅舅和小舅妈一会儿就到我们家。 一听到小舅舅一家要来，我心里有些雀跃，因为我小时候最喜欢他们来家里玩，这份雀跃让刚才的无措之感消退了一点。在去丢垃圾的路上，我感受着地面蒸腾的热气和偶尔飘来的凉风，脑海里剩下一片空白。 到了晚上，应该是十点吧，小舅舅和小舅妈来了，爸爸和妈妈也回家了。他们商量了一下，说明天早上去看我舅舅，然后让救护车送他回老家。 我第二天照常要去上班，小舅舅和小舅妈和我一起坐地铁。因为医院就在我公司的后两站。 我说，舅妈，我要不要去看一下大舅舅？ 小舅妈说，没事的，你去上班吧，上班要紧，大舅舅以后还能见到的。 下班之后，没有人在家，所以我照常上楼去喂猫。等我拿着装着猫砂的垃圾袋准备出门扔垃圾的时候，爸爸打电话说，你舅舅走了，明天晚上开追悼会，你和公司请三天假吧。 那是个星期五的晚上。我出门倒垃圾的时候，天还没有黑透，太阳的余温刚刚退去，今夜是一个凉爽的夏夜。 第二天晚上，我和爸爸开车到了妈妈的家乡，那个小县城，似乎已经有了一丝秋意，但并没有一丝风。直到我们的车开到殡仪馆那条种满了尖尖的松树和柏树的无名路，有几滴雨点从天上砸了下来。 我问爸爸，姐姐什么时候到？要不要我们开车去接她。爸爸说，时间不够了，要开始了，让姐姐自己打车来吧。 姐姐的车到的时候，雨已经下得很大了，风一直在空荡的路上呼啸，伴着刺耳的唢呐声，还有人们的哭声。只有舅舅安静地躺在那里，姐姐说，就像睡着了一样。 我生平第一次看到爸爸流下了眼泪。 第二天天刚亮的时候，地面还没有完全干，我们要送舅舅最后一程了。我看着殡仪馆的烟囱上升起一道白烟。我攥着爸爸的手。 我记起来不久前的那个下午，妈妈告诉我下班之后去医院看一下舅舅，这么久了我还没去看过呢。姐姐也在，我是最后到的。那天下午很热，广州七月的暑气把刚下过雨的地面蒸出了热气。我背着装着电脑的大书包，查看地铁站去医院的地图。我想，这医院怎么不建在地铁站的旁边？去那儿还得走个十分钟，这天气谁受得了？ 等我到了住院部，妈妈和姐姐已经在了，姐姐说，你的书包怎么这么大？于是我把这累赘撇在病房的飘窗上。舅舅问我，你是刚放学吗？我说，舅舅，我已经开始上班了。他从挂在床头的袋子里拿出一盒椰汁，问我喝不喝。我渴了，接过椰汁便开始喝起来。我走到窗台前，太阳准备下山了，金色的余晖刚好照进病房里。我看着医院外的窗景，正好能看到一点珠江，沿江路宽敞的步道，绿油油的沙面公园，剩下的是矮小的居民楼的灰色楼顶。这儿的景色如此熟悉，我想了想，一定能看到我的中学吧？于是我打开地图开始找我中学的位置。我想看到那熟悉的粉色的主教学楼和绿色假草覆盖的足球场。 我说，舅舅，你知道吗，这医院位置真好，居然还能看到我中学在哪儿。 我不知道我说没说这句话。之后我和妈妈下了楼，看到舅妈和小表弟准备上楼。舅妈让我们带着小表弟回家，他饿了，买了一碗面，本来要上楼吃的，但我们已经下来了，舅妈就让表弟在医院过道里找个地方吃了。妈妈和我一起去医院外面的大楼找她的车，姐姐留下来和表弟一起等我们把车开过来。 我和妈妈牵着手去找车，她说那栋楼有点远，她还想在路上买饺子吃。她说她每次来医院都会买那个饺子吃，刚刚带给姐姐吃了，说非常好吃。我说好，其实我对饺子没什么感觉，但我们还是去了，她买了两袋饺子，说到车上吃。 我不喜欢饺子的气味，所以在接到姐姐和表弟的时候，我让他们都吃了。都是玉米馅的。 我们在路上还堵了一会，从市中心回家还赶上晚高峰，到家的时候天已经完全黑了。 妈妈，我说，你觉得舅舅什么时候可以出院？ 妈妈说，应该很快了吧，他最近睡得好。 我不习惯看到妈妈流泪。在舅舅去世不久后，那家医院给妈妈打了电话，她刚好在开车，我刚好在车里。 护士在那边问，病人恢复好了吗？ 妈妈没有回答。 护士又问了一遍，是家属对吧？ 妈妈突然颤抖着喊道，他已经走了。 我不敢看妈妈流眼泪。她踩了一脚油门，车子跑得飞快。 再次看到妈妈的眼泪，是在第二年春天，快过春节的时候。 爸爸和妈妈回到家，问我去不去北京。我的另一个舅舅走了，外婆表姐的独子，才四十岁出头，刚刚还完美国使领馆对面大平层的按揭。留下两个还在上小学的孩子，和从来不和婆婆打交道的妻子。这舅舅在我小时候抱过我。这是我第二次来北京，上一次是十七年前，这舅舅抱过我。但我记不得了。 上一次我和这舅舅说话，是我在大一还是大二的时候，他说等我快毕业了，就帮我找联合国的实习。但当我真的快毕业的时候，却来北京看他了。 我和妈妈刚从哈尔滨回来，知道北方有多冷，于是我和妈妈带着新买的羽绒裤出发了。到了北京之后才发现，其实没有那么冷。 妈妈说，他半夜和朋友去喝酒，喝到第二口，脑袋耷拉下来，发现已经没了。他老婆瞒着公婆，过了快一个星期才说出来。 北京的冬天很冷，到了晚上，寒风直愣愣地往窗子缝里灌。我望着窗外的树，树枝上还残存着一些枯黄的叶子。 通州的殡仪馆不像我们那个小县城的一样简陋，没有人吹唢呐，也没有人烧东西，大家只是手里拿着鲜花，默默地放到舅舅的棺材里去。这一天同时还有其他两场追悼会在办。 人群默默散了。走到院子里，清晨的阳光开始变得温热起来，我感到身上有点出汗了，却又不敢把衣服都脱下来。阳光将石板地面照得白得晃眼，我想到了夏天。 妈妈在飞机上问我，两个舅舅走了，你有想到什么吗？ 我别扭地把头偏到一边，尽量不要让妈妈看到我红了眼眶。我没有说话。 日子还是照常进行着。后来我来到了这座拥有永恒夏日的城市，每每傍晚我独自走在植物园里参天大树的林荫下，归巢的斑鸠有一搭没一搭地叫着，我抬头望向似是要被残阳烧成灰烬的树影，那充满生机的火焰跳动着，人们在这巨大的阴影之下仿佛化作了一粒灰尘，此时一阵晚风，将我们吹走了。 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这是上一年的事了。我的舅舅癌症扩散得很快。我像往常一样坐着地铁回家，从城中心的那个站坐到终点站再转车回家。回家看到舅舅的鞋。从上一个夏天开始，他每个月都要坐四个小时高铁来广州做一次化疗，在我家住两天，再坐四个小时高铁回到我妈妈家乡的小县城。有时候带着他还在读小学的小儿子。我已经对这个安排习以为常，我放假期间才回家住着，有时候我反而像个客人。舅舅住在我爸妈房间旁边的那个客房里，那房间原先是我爸妈买房子的时候规划给我姐姐的小孩用的，结果我姐姐虽然结婚了，但是丁克了，和姐夫去了几千公里之外的武汉，说什么也不愿意要孩子。舅舅就睡在那张可以两用的榻榻米床上，蓝色格纹的棉布被子，白色没有套枕套的记忆棉枕头，显得不太协调的粉色棉质床单，都给他用了。被子、枕头和床单，现在还躺在那张床上，仿佛他下个月还要来。我知道舅舅肯定在客厅的沙发上小睡，所以我轻手轻脚地从车库走向客厅，准备去厨房看看妈妈在做什么晚饭。他没有躺在沙发上，反而在天井那儿打着八段锦。这八段锦是我爸告诉他的。我爸说，从他做完心脏搭桥手术之后，他每天早上都要打一段八段锦，才去做早饭。他说他的心脏病现在很稳定，体重也轻了不少。从那之后，我基本上每次回家，都会看到舅舅在天井那儿打八段锦。 我和舅舅打了招呼之后就去看了下妈妈在做什么菜。妈妈说舅舅不能吃发物，化疗之后也受不了肉的味道，但是又不能没了营养，所以给他做了各种蔬菜和一点肉打在一起的糊糊。我没有尝试，转头发现舅舅已经不在天井那儿了。肯定是出门散步去了，我想。过了一会，妈妈说，晚饭快做好了，打电话叫你舅回来。 我没有舅舅的电话，也没有舅舅的微信，所以我用妈妈的手机打他的电话，告诉他快回来。 第二天我照常去市中心上班。舅舅今天要去医院了，我心里不知道为什么突然松了一口气。或许今天我一个人在家的时候，终于可以想躺在哪就躺在哪，晚饭也可以自己吃好吃的了。 可当我回家在玄关脱鞋的时候，发现鞋柜里没有舅舅的鞋子，妈妈的鞋子也不见了。没人在家，于是我上楼去喂猫了。我一边打开猫粮袋，一边看着手机。我把猫粮放在碗里，然后去给猫铲屎。铲完之后，我一手提着垃圾袋，一手还是抱着手机看视频，心里想着今晚要做什么晚饭吃。忽然，爸爸的来电打断了我的思虑。 他说，你舅舅不大好，估计要转院回老家了，你妈去医院办手续了。 我说，那你们什么时候回来？他说他不清楚，但你的小舅舅和小舅妈一会儿就到我们家。 一听到小舅舅一家要来，我心里有些雀跃，因为我小时候最喜欢他们来家里玩，这份雀跃让刚才的无措之感消退了一点。在去丢垃圾的路上，我感受着地面蒸腾的热气和偶尔飘来的凉风，脑海里剩下一片空白。 到了晚上，应该是十点吧，小舅舅和小舅妈来了，爸爸和妈妈也回家了。他们商量了一下，说明天早上去看我舅舅，然后让救护车送他回老家。 我第二天照常要去上班，小舅舅和小舅妈和我一起坐地铁。因为医院就在我公司的后两站。 我说，舅妈，我要不要去看一下大舅舅？ 小舅妈说，没事的，你去上班吧，上班要紧，大舅舅以后还能见到的。 下班之后，没有人在家，所以我照常上楼去喂猫。等我拿着装着猫砂的垃圾袋准备出门扔垃圾的时候，爸爸打电话说，你舅舅走了，明天晚上开追悼会，你和公司请三天假吧。 那是个星期五的晚上。我出门倒垃圾的时候，天还没有黑透，太阳的余温刚刚退去，今夜是一个凉爽的夏夜。 第二天晚上，我和爸爸开车到了妈妈的家乡，那个小县城，似乎已经有了一丝秋意，但并没有一丝风。直到我们的车开到殡仪馆那条种满了尖尖的松树和柏树的无名路，有几滴雨点从天上砸了下来。 我问爸爸，姐姐什么时候到？要不要我们开车去接她。爸爸说，时间不够了，要开始了，让姐姐自己打车来吧。 姐姐的车到的时候，雨已经下得很大了，风一直在空荡的路上呼啸，伴着刺耳的唢呐声，还有人们的哭声。只有舅舅安静地躺在那里，姐姐说，就像睡着了一样。 我生平第一次看到爸爸流下了眼泪。 第二天天刚亮的时候，地面还没有完全干，我们要送舅舅最后一程了。我看着殡仪馆的烟囱上升起一道白烟。我攥着爸爸的手。 我记起来不久前的那个下午，妈妈告诉我下班之后去医院看一下舅舅，这么久了我还没去看过呢。姐姐也在，我是最后到的。那天下午很热，广州七月的暑气把刚下过雨的地面蒸出了热气。我背着装着电脑的大书包，查看地铁站去医院的地图。我想，这医院怎么不建在地铁站的旁边？去那儿还得走个十分钟，这天气谁受得了？ 等我到了住院部，妈妈和姐姐已经在了，姐姐说，你的书包怎么这么大？于是我把这累赘撇在病房的飘窗上。舅舅问我，你是刚放学吗？我说，舅舅，我已经开始上班了。他从挂在床头的袋子里拿出一盒椰汁，问我喝不喝。我渴了，接过椰汁便开始喝起来。我走到窗台前，太阳准备下山了，金色的余晖刚好照进病房里。我看着医院外的窗景，正好能看到一点珠江，沿江路宽敞的步道，绿油油的沙面公园，剩下的是矮小的居民楼的灰色楼顶。这儿的景色如此熟悉，我想了想，一定能看到我的中学吧？于是我打开地图开始找我中学的位置。我想看到那熟悉的粉色的主教学楼和绿色假草覆盖的足球场。 我说，舅舅，你知道吗，这医院位置真好，居然还能看到我中学在哪儿。 我不知道我说没说这句话。之后我和妈妈下了楼，看到舅妈和小表弟准备上楼。舅妈让我们带着小表弟回家，他饿了，买了一碗面，本来要上楼吃的，但我们已经下来了，舅妈就让表弟在医院过道里找个地方吃了。妈妈和我一起去医院外面的大楼找她的车，姐姐留下来和表弟一起等我们把车开过来。 我和妈妈牵着手去找车，她说那栋楼有点远，她还想在路上买饺子吃。她说她每次来医院都会买那个饺子吃，刚刚带给姐姐吃了，说非常好吃。我说好，其实我对饺子没什么感觉，但我们还是去了，她买了两袋饺子，说到车上吃。 我不喜欢饺子的气味，所以在接到姐姐和表弟的时候，我让他们都吃了。都是玉米馅的。 我们在路上还堵了一会，从市中心回家还赶上晚高峰，到家的时候天已经完全黑了。 妈妈，我说，你觉得舅舅什么时候可以出院？ 妈妈说，应该很快了吧，他最近睡得好。 我不习惯看到妈妈流泪。在舅舅去世不久后，那家医院给妈妈打了电话，她刚好在开车，我刚好在车里。 护士在那边问，病人恢复好了吗？ 妈妈没有回答。 护士又问了一遍，是家属对吧？ 妈妈突然颤抖着喊道，他已经走了。 我不敢看妈妈流眼泪。她踩了一脚油门，车子跑得飞快。 再次看到妈妈的眼泪，是在第二年春天，快过春节的时候。 爸爸和妈妈回到家，问我去不去北京。我的另一个舅舅走了，外婆表姐的独子，才四十岁出头，刚刚还完美国使领馆对面大平层的按揭。留下两个还在上小学的孩子，和从来不和婆婆打交道的妻子。这舅舅在我小时候抱过我。这是我第二次来北京，上一次是十七年前，这舅舅抱过我。但我记不得了。 上一次我和这舅舅说话，是我在大一还是大二的时候，他说等我快毕业了，就帮我找联合国的实习。但当我真的快毕业的时候，却来北京看他了。 我和妈妈刚从哈尔滨回来，知道北方有多冷，于是我和妈妈带着新买的羽绒裤出发了。到了北京之后才发现，其实没有那么冷。 妈妈说，他半夜和朋友去喝酒，喝到第二口，脑袋耷拉下来，发现已经没了。他老婆瞒着公婆，过了快一个星期才说出来。 北京的冬天很冷，到了晚上，寒风直愣愣地往窗子缝里灌。我望着窗外的树，树枝上还残存着一些枯黄的叶子。 通州的殡仪馆不像我们那个小县城的一样简陋，没有人吹唢呐，也没有人烧东西，大家只是手里拿着鲜花，默默地放到舅舅的棺材里去。这一天同时还有其他两场追悼会在办。 人群默默散了。走到院子里，清晨的阳光开始变得温热起来，我感到身上有点出汗了，却又不敢把衣服都脱下来。阳光将石板地面照得白得晃眼，我想到了夏天。 妈妈在飞机上问我，两个舅舅走了，你有想到什么吗？ 我别扭地把头偏到一边，尽量不要让妈妈看到我红了眼眶。我没有说话。 日子还是照常进行着。后来我来到了这座拥有永恒夏日的城市，每每傍晚我独自走在植物园里参天大树的林荫下，归巢的斑鸠有一搭没一搭地叫着，我抬头望向似是要被残阳烧成灰烬的树影，那充满生机的火焰跳动着，人们在这巨大的阴影之下仿佛化作了一粒灰尘，此时一阵晚风，将我们吹走了。 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